He is not charming and lacks the ability to be a gentleman. He is totally unrefined, would not open the door for you neither will he wait for you before stepping in to any room. It is never the best thing to walk with him in the rain unless you have an umbrella, even if he shares an umbrella with you he’ll expect you to hold it.
But that is just the way he is. That is the way the world views him. Yes he is wild and arrogant, but I’m not timid either. I actually I am more dangerous than he is; only I come in a softer and more subtle packaging (maybe we'll talk about me sometime).
People say likes do not work and parallel opposites are a bad idea. Not in our case, we match like the stars in the night sky. Our wild works just like the sun and moon work together.
His coarseness never exists around me, he is as the calm just before a storm. You all see him absent minded never paying attention to anything, yet he notices every time my nose twitches. He could draw my eyes from memory, and point out my smile in the clouds. He can tell what emotion I feel just from the sound of my voice and knows just how to deal with me.
He is extremely impatient. Really I’m serious, he can’t stand it if you take an extra minute to do anything. With me he acts like time has stopped just to wait for me to finish whatever it is I am doing. He takes his time when taking care of me, he walks beside me like the restaurant is in business just because of me, like the movie would only start when we get there.
I know that I am not nice, well I do not try to be, but I often tell him that he is mean; at least to other people never to me or mine. He does not hide his anger, and his wrath descends like volcanic lava. No matter how hot and angry he is, everything negative disappears when I walk into the room. His anger is scary and mine is worse, but harsh words never pass between us. Besides I have a calming effect on him.
Everyone judges us once they see us. No one believes we can work out. Even in the midst of all his wild, our hearts still beat as one. He hardly says the wrong words, and when he does he always does the right thing to make it up to me. I know he's not attractive to most, he's not the story book gentle man; but he is mine. My own love, not gentle, but he is my wildman love.
Monday, 28 November 2011
Sunday, 20 November 2011
INTRODUCING MISS FORGET…
Hi! So I’m introducing me. My name is Miss Forgetting Forgetful Forgetter. I have a feeling I can guess what you are thinking, but I am not dumb. As in I do not forget what I learn in school or what I am supposed to do at work. I still have not forgotten how to cook or how to drive or even how to bath a baby and change soiled diapers. So stop thinking negative, I am smart, extremely smart; which is why I choose to forget.
I often forget not to talk to certain people. In other words I do not remember to keep ‘malice’ with people. I think keeping malice makes sense to certain people but I have not been able to understand the concept. I thought the point of a fight was to let the other person know how you feel and why what they have done is not acceptable. So how do you accomplish that without talking, or passing notes? I am not big on silent messages and sign language; I do not even know how to communicate that way, so I would rather talk to you.
There is a lot to say to people every day and wit my forgetfulness it is a lot of hard work for me to remember that I am not talking to someone.
As forgetful as I am, there are certain times I have to work hard at forgetting. I hate to forget the important things people do in my life but sometimes these people are just mean. Isn’t it very unfair that I decide to make sure that I do not forget what people do for the sake of a good relationship and they decide to do the things that hurt? Over time I have learned that it is easier to forget than not keep remembering.
Ok so here is how it works for me; if I forget, I still have my friend, I do not have to remind myself that I am mad at someone, I am generally happier and nobody is getting transferred negative energy. If I do not forget, I get mad every time I remember what happened, when I hear the person’s name, see the person or am reminded about the person, need to remember not to be nice to the person, and a whole lot of rubbish that comes with remembering negative stuff. Don’t get me wrong, it is important to learn from these extreme experiences with people, but I think life is too short to keep all of these in your head.
In my bid to be a true ambassador of the world I like to learn from everything around me. So I learned to forget from children. Five year old Toyin is mad, extremely mad at his mum. First of all she woke him up this morning just when he was about to be given a bowl of chocolate ice cream in his dream and insists that he goes to school. The bath wasn’t so bad, neither was the breakfast, but then she takes him to the same school that has the class with all those other noisy kids, and packs him lunch with a healthy drink. The most amazing thing is that by the close of school, when little Toyin sees his mum waiting outside, he is the happiest child in existence. Never mind about all the things she did, he’s happy that she’s here to get him.
Seriously, it makes sense to learn to forget. There is some form of bliss that comes with forgetting how mad someone hurt you, or how much you would love to kill the girl next door. I personally think it comes with less stress. But most importantly life is shorter than we would love it to be, so what is the point of holding on to the negatives. Besides as you grow older you have more things to think about, so why not try to forget the negative events.
In other words learn to be like me. You have my permission to pick and use one of my names. But if you would not be like me, at least learnt to forget the things that don't count. People do not live forever.
Wishing you all the bliss that comes from forgetting,
Miss Forgetting Forgetful Forgetter
P.S.
I hope it was nice meeting me.
I often forget not to talk to certain people. In other words I do not remember to keep ‘malice’ with people. I think keeping malice makes sense to certain people but I have not been able to understand the concept. I thought the point of a fight was to let the other person know how you feel and why what they have done is not acceptable. So how do you accomplish that without talking, or passing notes? I am not big on silent messages and sign language; I do not even know how to communicate that way, so I would rather talk to you.
There is a lot to say to people every day and wit my forgetfulness it is a lot of hard work for me to remember that I am not talking to someone.
As forgetful as I am, there are certain times I have to work hard at forgetting. I hate to forget the important things people do in my life but sometimes these people are just mean. Isn’t it very unfair that I decide to make sure that I do not forget what people do for the sake of a good relationship and they decide to do the things that hurt? Over time I have learned that it is easier to forget than not keep remembering.
Ok so here is how it works for me; if I forget, I still have my friend, I do not have to remind myself that I am mad at someone, I am generally happier and nobody is getting transferred negative energy. If I do not forget, I get mad every time I remember what happened, when I hear the person’s name, see the person or am reminded about the person, need to remember not to be nice to the person, and a whole lot of rubbish that comes with remembering negative stuff. Don’t get me wrong, it is important to learn from these extreme experiences with people, but I think life is too short to keep all of these in your head.
In my bid to be a true ambassador of the world I like to learn from everything around me. So I learned to forget from children. Five year old Toyin is mad, extremely mad at his mum. First of all she woke him up this morning just when he was about to be given a bowl of chocolate ice cream in his dream and insists that he goes to school. The bath wasn’t so bad, neither was the breakfast, but then she takes him to the same school that has the class with all those other noisy kids, and packs him lunch with a healthy drink. The most amazing thing is that by the close of school, when little Toyin sees his mum waiting outside, he is the happiest child in existence. Never mind about all the things she did, he’s happy that she’s here to get him.
Seriously, it makes sense to learn to forget. There is some form of bliss that comes with forgetting how mad someone hurt you, or how much you would love to kill the girl next door. I personally think it comes with less stress. But most importantly life is shorter than we would love it to be, so what is the point of holding on to the negatives. Besides as you grow older you have more things to think about, so why not try to forget the negative events.
In other words learn to be like me. You have my permission to pick and use one of my names. But if you would not be like me, at least learnt to forget the things that don't count. People do not live forever.
Wishing you all the bliss that comes from forgetting,
Miss Forgetting Forgetful Forgetter
P.S.
I hope it was nice meeting me.
Friday, 18 November 2011
Letter To Some Guy I Do Not Know How To Qualify
It is amazing how the past can track you down in the present and even more stunning when it is not your past. I cannot believe I have to write this to you, but since you would not find brain for yourself, I need to look give you one.
You said that you trust her and may be you do. You trust her so much she has the passwords to all your email accounts and electronic devices, the pin codes to your debit cards, the keys to your house and spare keys to your cars. So you trust her, but not where it counts. Sometimes I think you are upset that the girl that loves you enough to be with you is beautiful and a lady.
Why does she have to explain the reason she is ten minutes late to your date? Why can’t she have female friends apart from the ones you find for her? She has to check in with you every night before she goes to bed. You heard a guy’s voice in the background one afternoon and you tore down to her place without thinking. Her elder brother had is friend over.
You claim to value her and her opinions but only about what you are wearing to the next party or what would tell the world about how big you are. When was the last time you told her about your deep thoughts that had nothing to do with her body? Tell me how you would hide yourself from her and expect her to be happy that she’s with you. She loves you so she worries about you when you are down yet you would not even tell her how you feel with the shortest of words. She is bothered that she is the worst girlfriend ever; she thinks she is selfish because you would never share your thoughts and dreams with her.
She has to work hard to get any encouragement from you; she works for your affection. And for some reason I do not understand, there is always some random person somewhere that you can compare her to. Oh and she often falls short. On special days she either tried to hard or not enough to impress you. Your birthday has to be an extra effort, wishing to spend time alone with you is the worst thing she would ever do.
How dare you? You claim to love her, but you look at her through the shades of your past. Just because your last girl left you for someone else you assume that she has slept with every man that gave her a second look. So your mother left when you were young? Dude, I actually mean to be nasty but get over yourself. You are not the first it happened to and if you continue like this after you are both married, you would not be the last.
She is too precious to be doing time for other people’s crimes. Your friend messes up and you automatically attach a disgusting quality to her. I am not going to you how wonderful she is. But I know she works hard to show how much she loves you, even though I think you do not deserve half of it. She is always being sentenced before the sin. She is always to blame because you are protecting yourself from the rest of the world. You are not ready to be with her or any one. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions and stop treating her like you do not love her.
I am not telling you any of this because I think you deserve her, but if you do not look for a way to look at, see and appreciate what you have, some other guy would snatch her. Oh and do not think your best friend would not consider it, cause I know they would. If you are not careful she would stop hoping you would learn to do right by her, she would leave you. What part does she have to play in other people’s mistakes?
Guy, if her health deteriorates, I promise to blame you and if that ever happens, I promise to tell you this exact words “Good for her, remember I told you so”.
You said that you trust her and may be you do. You trust her so much she has the passwords to all your email accounts and electronic devices, the pin codes to your debit cards, the keys to your house and spare keys to your cars. So you trust her, but not where it counts. Sometimes I think you are upset that the girl that loves you enough to be with you is beautiful and a lady.
Why does she have to explain the reason she is ten minutes late to your date? Why can’t she have female friends apart from the ones you find for her? She has to check in with you every night before she goes to bed. You heard a guy’s voice in the background one afternoon and you tore down to her place without thinking. Her elder brother had is friend over.
You claim to value her and her opinions but only about what you are wearing to the next party or what would tell the world about how big you are. When was the last time you told her about your deep thoughts that had nothing to do with her body? Tell me how you would hide yourself from her and expect her to be happy that she’s with you. She loves you so she worries about you when you are down yet you would not even tell her how you feel with the shortest of words. She is bothered that she is the worst girlfriend ever; she thinks she is selfish because you would never share your thoughts and dreams with her.
She has to work hard to get any encouragement from you; she works for your affection. And for some reason I do not understand, there is always some random person somewhere that you can compare her to. Oh and she often falls short. On special days she either tried to hard or not enough to impress you. Your birthday has to be an extra effort, wishing to spend time alone with you is the worst thing she would ever do.
How dare you? You claim to love her, but you look at her through the shades of your past. Just because your last girl left you for someone else you assume that she has slept with every man that gave her a second look. So your mother left when you were young? Dude, I actually mean to be nasty but get over yourself. You are not the first it happened to and if you continue like this after you are both married, you would not be the last.
She is too precious to be doing time for other people’s crimes. Your friend messes up and you automatically attach a disgusting quality to her. I am not going to you how wonderful she is. But I know she works hard to show how much she loves you, even though I think you do not deserve half of it. She is always being sentenced before the sin. She is always to blame because you are protecting yourself from the rest of the world. You are not ready to be with her or any one. Grow up and take responsibility for your actions and stop treating her like you do not love her.
I am not telling you any of this because I think you deserve her, but if you do not look for a way to look at, see and appreciate what you have, some other guy would snatch her. Oh and do not think your best friend would not consider it, cause I know they would. If you are not careful she would stop hoping you would learn to do right by her, she would leave you. What part does she have to play in other people’s mistakes?
Guy, if her health deteriorates, I promise to blame you and if that ever happens, I promise to tell you this exact words “Good for her, remember I told you so”.
Tuesday, 11 October 2011
LETTER TO MY F.G.MUM
Dear Fairy-god mum,
Hi. Don't know who you are, or if you really truly exist. But I'm writing this in good faith. If u hear that I sent one of these to Santa, please don't be upset, it’s all because I've learnt in our not so very fairy-tale world not to put all my eggs in one basket.
I'm writing to you about the 'Prince Charming' issue. In our times we prefer to refer to him as Mr Right. I understand that each one of us girls have one of those, and for some reason, mine isn't here yet. So I got to thinking, I might as well let you know certain details about how I'd like him to be while I wait for his arrival.
You can't blame me cos I've seen the Mr Right's sent to some people I know, and no offence, but some of the other mothers could have been nicer to their god-daughters.
Anyway, who am I to judge, they are not mine, and I haven’t met mine yet.
So F.G.mum, while u are getting my Mr Right ready could you please do certain adjustments to his physique. I'm sure he'll be handsome, but I'll need to specify certain things again. I grew up a little, so my Mr Right and Mr Dream-Man are different. Please could you make him just tall enough? Not the scary tallness, but tall enough for me to still be shorter than him, even when I have my glass platforms on. Like I said, I trust that you'll send me someone handsome, but please I would prefer he not be pretty, need to be sure I'm the only lady.
Whatever happens, please send him to the gym to work out, as I would be devastated if he comes along with a pot-belly. In future I would not want my children to think men can also be pregnant.
I would be ecstatic if you could make sure that he attends and graduates from the Chartered Institute of Gentlemen. However, he should not take the Lady's Man101, or the Casanova121.
I heard that you and Mother Nature have come a long way as friends, business partners, and mothers. I would really appreciate if she got involved in preparing Mr Right. Please ask her to remove all snoring, sleep-talking and sleep-walking tendencies that he may have. She should please make him patient, and slow to anger. A shouter would make your favourite god-daughter cry, and I know how much you hate when it happens. A listening-talker would be just perfect, can't explain that in detail, but u know what I mean. Also make sure that he is not addicted to anything, not even the precious football (he can love it but not be addicted, please).
Please explain to Professor Experience how important Mr Right would be to me when I meet him. So prof should teach him like only he can, however I would resent any long lasting negative behaviours or views to life that may come as a result of Prof’s lectures.
I heard that Father Fortune and Father Time are still very good friends, and they tend to work together. Please tell Father Fortune to deal my Mr Right with the right and deserving cards. He should not forget that I'm part of the deal, so an acceptable percentage increase would be wonderful. Please also make sure that he has a job that he loves and treats him right. I would prefer it if he is not married to his job, I want to be his one and only wife.
Please show this part to Father Time.
Dear Father Time, I understand that you would never rush anything so you can maintain the balance of life. But could you just this once make it seem to me like you rushed a little. I promise never to be late again, ever, or to say that I lost track of time. O and when he comes please allow us have forever and not until midnight. It is really heart wrenching when one of us has to leave at the chime of the grandfather clock.
Back to you fairy-god mum, please make sure that my Mr Right/Charming has the most beautiful eyes, which light up every time I walk into the room. Though I would love him to be fashioned to and for me would not mind if you and your accomplices worked on me a little for his sake. He deserves that much.
I have to go now; it’s time for my daily trip to Dreamshire. Thanks a lot. I promise to keep believing and never worry.
P.S. Let me be able to recognise him, for my hygine's sake, I would not want to kiss any frogs.
O and don't forget, I love you too.
Love
Oyek-me
Hi. Don't know who you are, or if you really truly exist. But I'm writing this in good faith. If u hear that I sent one of these to Santa, please don't be upset, it’s all because I've learnt in our not so very fairy-tale world not to put all my eggs in one basket.
I'm writing to you about the 'Prince Charming' issue. In our times we prefer to refer to him as Mr Right. I understand that each one of us girls have one of those, and for some reason, mine isn't here yet. So I got to thinking, I might as well let you know certain details about how I'd like him to be while I wait for his arrival.
You can't blame me cos I've seen the Mr Right's sent to some people I know, and no offence, but some of the other mothers could have been nicer to their god-daughters.
Anyway, who am I to judge, they are not mine, and I haven’t met mine yet.
So F.G.mum, while u are getting my Mr Right ready could you please do certain adjustments to his physique. I'm sure he'll be handsome, but I'll need to specify certain things again. I grew up a little, so my Mr Right and Mr Dream-Man are different. Please could you make him just tall enough? Not the scary tallness, but tall enough for me to still be shorter than him, even when I have my glass platforms on. Like I said, I trust that you'll send me someone handsome, but please I would prefer he not be pretty, need to be sure I'm the only lady.
Whatever happens, please send him to the gym to work out, as I would be devastated if he comes along with a pot-belly. In future I would not want my children to think men can also be pregnant.
I would be ecstatic if you could make sure that he attends and graduates from the Chartered Institute of Gentlemen. However, he should not take the Lady's Man101, or the Casanova121.
I heard that you and Mother Nature have come a long way as friends, business partners, and mothers. I would really appreciate if she got involved in preparing Mr Right. Please ask her to remove all snoring, sleep-talking and sleep-walking tendencies that he may have. She should please make him patient, and slow to anger. A shouter would make your favourite god-daughter cry, and I know how much you hate when it happens. A listening-talker would be just perfect, can't explain that in detail, but u know what I mean. Also make sure that he is not addicted to anything, not even the precious football (he can love it but not be addicted, please).
Please explain to Professor Experience how important Mr Right would be to me when I meet him. So prof should teach him like only he can, however I would resent any long lasting negative behaviours or views to life that may come as a result of Prof’s lectures.
I heard that Father Fortune and Father Time are still very good friends, and they tend to work together. Please tell Father Fortune to deal my Mr Right with the right and deserving cards. He should not forget that I'm part of the deal, so an acceptable percentage increase would be wonderful. Please also make sure that he has a job that he loves and treats him right. I would prefer it if he is not married to his job, I want to be his one and only wife.
Please show this part to Father Time.
Dear Father Time, I understand that you would never rush anything so you can maintain the balance of life. But could you just this once make it seem to me like you rushed a little. I promise never to be late again, ever, or to say that I lost track of time. O and when he comes please allow us have forever and not until midnight. It is really heart wrenching when one of us has to leave at the chime of the grandfather clock.
Back to you fairy-god mum, please make sure that my Mr Right/Charming has the most beautiful eyes, which light up every time I walk into the room. Though I would love him to be fashioned to and for me would not mind if you and your accomplices worked on me a little for his sake. He deserves that much.
I have to go now; it’s time for my daily trip to Dreamshire. Thanks a lot. I promise to keep believing and never worry.
P.S. Let me be able to recognise him, for my hygine's sake, I would not want to kiss any frogs.
O and don't forget, I love you too.
Love
Oyek-me
Thursday, 15 September 2011
THE FIRST TIME
I looked at you and I was shocked. You smiled, a very slow smile, and it was just right. The dark clouds fled the sky. The sun shone bright without giving any intense heat yet it could not rival your smile. And I never had a shady day because your smile was with me all the way.
My gaze shifted up, ever so slightly, and I drowned. I was lost in the depths of your eyes, your dark, dark eyes. Hmmm your amazing eyes. Like in a luscious, green and flowery maze, I wonder around not looking to find an exit, but to continue to uncover the various depths of you. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, but yours make the wonders of the world pale in comparison.
A sound emanated from you, and I just stared at you. I could not believe that a human had the ability to speak like that. Your words and diction, perfect, but your voice kept me in awe. You did not have the classic husky voice, or the shrill and feminine screech. No, your voice created a class of its own. Soothing enough to put me to peaceful sleep, authoritative enough to rouse me daily and just plain wonderful, not even music would replace it in my ears.
You walked towards me, all tall and magnificent; long strides, head held high, the genuine embodiment of royalty. Then you took my hand in yours and the world faded away. I was startled, how could such rugged hands be as gentle and soft as cashmere, but yet as firm as a warrior’s. We had the most perfect dance, the world seized to exist, but the feel of your hands on the small of my back, and the way your eyes danced as you gazed down at me.
The music had stopped, but we were beyond space and time, all that mattered, was you and I. Then I could not believe it. You were about to kiss me, with the most captivating lips I’d ever sighted. They were a cross between black and pink. Your lips were just a breath away then…
Then I heard my name. It was time for my acceptance speech, for the award. The dinner was in my honour, but we weren’t together. We both had gorgeous dates, the envy of the rest of the room. I felt awkward you were at my table, but not with me. Still I hoped, I hoped you felt the same way.
The very same way I felt, as the rest of my life changed; the very 1st time I saw you.
My gaze shifted up, ever so slightly, and I drowned. I was lost in the depths of your eyes, your dark, dark eyes. Hmmm your amazing eyes. Like in a luscious, green and flowery maze, I wonder around not looking to find an exit, but to continue to uncover the various depths of you. They say the eyes are windows to the soul, but yours make the wonders of the world pale in comparison.
A sound emanated from you, and I just stared at you. I could not believe that a human had the ability to speak like that. Your words and diction, perfect, but your voice kept me in awe. You did not have the classic husky voice, or the shrill and feminine screech. No, your voice created a class of its own. Soothing enough to put me to peaceful sleep, authoritative enough to rouse me daily and just plain wonderful, not even music would replace it in my ears.
You walked towards me, all tall and magnificent; long strides, head held high, the genuine embodiment of royalty. Then you took my hand in yours and the world faded away. I was startled, how could such rugged hands be as gentle and soft as cashmere, but yet as firm as a warrior’s. We had the most perfect dance, the world seized to exist, but the feel of your hands on the small of my back, and the way your eyes danced as you gazed down at me.
The music had stopped, but we were beyond space and time, all that mattered, was you and I. Then I could not believe it. You were about to kiss me, with the most captivating lips I’d ever sighted. They were a cross between black and pink. Your lips were just a breath away then…
Then I heard my name. It was time for my acceptance speech, for the award. The dinner was in my honour, but we weren’t together. We both had gorgeous dates, the envy of the rest of the room. I felt awkward you were at my table, but not with me. Still I hoped, I hoped you felt the same way.
The very same way I felt, as the rest of my life changed; the very 1st time I saw you.
Sunday, 3 April 2011
FROM MY HEART
I hate to fight, especially with you, it breaks my heart and I ought to avoid it like a plague. But then do I even try to avoid a dispute? How possible is it to live in this world of ours without visiting a place of intense negative emotions with the ones you love, I ask myself. Those are the excuses I give when I actually want things to be different.
I wish we could love each other and never get hurt. Wish we could talk to one another and never raise our voices because we got mad, that we could always look at each other and never think of revenge.
I yearn for days when you wake up enthusiastic and with anticipation of the things the day brings, that I do not have the ability to irritate you. I pray for days when all you can do is smile at me and laugh with me, regardless of how often you have to tell me to shut the door.
I long for days when your heart jumps with love at the sound of my name and not with resentment; times you find that you are breathless from racing to the house with me, and not as a result of storming out in anger.
I greedily covert the days when our arguments are pointless and borne out of our boredom and not out of conflict.
But instead, I always seem to offend you, say the wrong words out of my ignorance and sometimes my stupidity. I give the wrong attitude, and act in the worst ways, often with the best intentions at heart. I can only ask that you charge it to my heart.
Blame my heart, forgive my brain. But blame me with caution; my heart can only take so much. I act bigger, and behave stronger, but you have handled so much from me because of your strength.
I am proud, and extremely arrogant, I take offence at the slightest thing you do. I make you apologise when I’m wrong, beg for my forgiveness when the roles ought to be reversed. So today I swallow my pride and crush everything that makes me feel bigger than I actually know I am, and tell with all my heart that I am sorry. I take back every wrong word, apologise for every thoughtless action. I know it is not possible to have a do-over; otherwise I would have done my best to do things differently. In the midst of all my slips and mess-ups, please find that place in your heart, where you are bigger and please forgive my whole being.
I honestly wish it was that easy, as I am trying harder to forgive you too.
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