NOT MY FAULT

I don’t mean to, but it’s my own trumpet and since I have it I might as well blow it. Do not even think it; I am not anywhere near proud. I just state the facts as it is.
I am always the standard. I have the perfect height, perfect figure and shape, and perfect complexion. Really I am serious if you are taller than I am, you are too tall, if you are shappier than I am; you are too shapey. Needless to say, I turn heads when I walk past.
O and my smile. Hmmm my smile makes it right with the world. You see my smile and everything you went through up until the point you saw me was just worth it. My smile is so beautiful and bright, even the sun is envious –no offense Sun, I still like you *wink*.
My eyes are just plain stunning, I find myself having to look down sometimes so I do not have to deal with too many suitors, but it has never really worked. They still come any way.
My lips are full, the perfect combination of black and pink. It’s weird I know, but I have it that way. O and they are naturally lined. I could go on and on about just my face, but in summary I’ll just say that every feature on my face is in the right size and perfect position. I am so pretty, I hardly need make up, but I am the makeup artist’s dream canvass.
I am on point from my hair, to the sole of my feet. If you are looking for, there is proof. Beyond how I look, there is just something about me that draws people to me. I’ll admit it is very frustrating sometimes because the magnetism does not discriminate but all the same that’s just my life. Anyways you just like me because I exist. You do not exactly have a choice in the matter. Even when you try to hate me, you fall harder than you thought, so don’t fight it. It is easier for all involved.
Let’s not forget, I am the perfect mix of classy and down-to-earth. I know how to act right and also how to get down. I’ve found it easy to be good with the guys and with the girls.
I know I sound arrogant, but o well it’s the truth. I won’t call me beautiful if I did not have an exceptionally wonderful personality. I am smart, both street and book. I work and play hard; just so you know, that’s the best way to live life. I have a big heart and I am extremely nice. This is why I would never take someone else’s boyfriend.
So I would really appreciate it if someone eplained this to Nancy. Honestly I do not like her but truly it is nothing personal, just one of those things you know at first sight. And I’m only human. Needless to say, I know the feeling is mutual, actually more intense on her part considering the recent happenings. But candidly I must tell you, it is refreshing to find someone who could openly dislike me.
I have nothing against Nancy, so I do not wish her bad. So please tell her top consider putting her man on a leash. I know she blames me for his recent infatuations, but it’s not my fault. I have enough male attention and I don’t need yours to feel special. Besides I can have anyone I want, when I want, and how I want. So I am asking nicely, Nancy please handle your man, for his own good. No offense but he can’t handle me and all my hotness. Girl to girl advice, if he won’t behave and can’t leave me, let’s teach him a lesson, I do not stop saying ‘No’ and you leave him.
However in the midst of it all, whatever you do, please remember, none of this is my fault. I am just blessed that way.